submission Archives - Sugarcunt Writes

What Got Me Into BDSM

May 032013

I was 14 when I first discovered BDSM. I met a 20something woman on a journaling site who I had some things in common with and I started following her blog. She was a submissive with a love of shoes, red lipstick, and being tied up. Later, she also began financially dominating others. I was very interested in her lifestyle because she was also overweight, and when you’re 14 and no one wants to date you, it’s pretty easy to feel like you’re going to die an unwilling virgin. (Knowing how much sex I was going to get in college would have blown my mind.) I also thought she was very attractive.

This woman frequently posted photos of her bound arms or legs and the bruises she received from being disciplined. She wrote about being a submissive and what it meant to her. Something that struck me about her writing was how much love and respect she very clearly held for her dominant. Another thing that struck me was how much he treasured her.

It was obvious that when they were together, she was able to throw herself into servitude and escape from the outside world for a while. To me, that was probably one of the most appealing aspects of the lifestyle. I loved the idea of being able to tune everything out and focus on the object of my affections. I loved the idea of being someone’s possession and following their directions with rewards or punishments on the line.

I also stumbled upon the blog of pigdog (now known as Cherry Torn), who was doing some stuff that blew my mind. She was enduring some very serious punishments, and underwent a lot of humiliation – the most prominent thing that sticks out in my mind was the fact that at some point or another, she had to drink urine out of a pet bowl. Something about the humiliation turned me on a great deal.

I didn’t have a very realistic view of BDSM in my youth. It all seemed very magical. I think that in my mind, being someone’s pet meant that I wouldn’t have to take care of myself on an emotional level, which was something I didn’t want to do because of my mental health. I wanted all responsibility taken out of my hands, and in return I just wanted to make someone else happy. I was convinced that doing that would make me happy in turn.

Let me just clear something up for you: that’s wrong. BDSM is not a replacement for self-care and attending to your personal needs. While it is your top’s responsibility to be respectful, safe, and caring, it is not your top’s responsibility to take charge of your entire life. Even if you’re interested in servitude, a 24-7 lifestyle just isn’t right for most people, and even in a 24-7 situation, it’s important to take care of yourself. Only you know exactly what you want and need. Stand up for yourself and share that information with your master. Be a healthy individual so you can maintain a healthy relationship.

I use BDSM very differently than I imagined. For starters, I’ve become way less interested in a 24-7 lifestyle and more interested in power dynamics. I love power play, especially where someone has to earn the position of dominance over me. I love being a brat. I’ve found that I’m very kinky and I have a variety of interests outside of bondage and D/s. I’ve discovered that I don’t like as much pain as I imagined that I would, but I love sense play A LOT. I’ve discovered that my love of humiliation is best fed when someone is talking dirty to me.

And most importantly, I don’t use BDSM as a substitute for self-care. I have limits, and I set them, rather than letting someone dictate what they are. I’m present in my life and am able to fulfill my own needs. I take care of myself and maintain my mental health. A kinky sex life is no substitute for self-reliance.

What was the first thing that got you interested in BDSM?

50 Shades of Bullshit: 50 Shades of Grey In 140 Characters or Less

Reviews 4 Responses »

Jun 072012

A love hate summary of my most recent (and shaming) Goodreads shelf addition, 50 Shades of Grey, presented in bites of 140 characters or less.

Warning: Content may be borderline spoiler-y. I will put the review behind a read more link below the image SOLELY because I’m trying to be considerate of those among us who want to read this dribble.

So I’m writing a romance novel. Sort of. But before you write for a genre, you have to at least read it. And additionally, why write something within a genre you hate, right? (It does make sense. I mean, if you want to write something good, you should actually like what you’re doing.) I want to write good romance, because I like good romance, but romantic fiction is an expansive field, so sometimes you have to dig through a lot of shit before you hit gold. You start at the popular stuff and burrow, hoping to find an entire t-rex carcass packed beneath the dirt.

I started digging and I hit petrified shit.

50 Shades of Grey became this INCREDIBLE phenomenon around April, and is a published work that originated as Twilight fanfiction. For my first fifty pages or so, I didn’t quite realize until some things (“Damn it, I was biting my lip AGAIN. For the BILLIONTH TIME BECAUSE LIP-BITING IS THE ONLY PHYSICAL ACTION I CAN PERFORM WITHOUT STUMBLING… most of the time.”) started popping up. And then the internet research said, “Oh yeah, by the way…”

Still, the publisher said the book “bore very little resemblance to Twilight!” Given that, I –tried- to put the story’s origins out of my mind, so as not to be biased in my reading.

I probably wouldn’t have bothered writing this if I had failed. I am definitely biased… because one of the most singular things E.L. James did well was encapsulate Stephanie Meyer’s loathsome, insipid characters within Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele. (And let me just say: from the beginning, I did think the name “Anastasia Rose Steele” sounded stupid.)

I’m not going to give you my standard mile-long review where I pick over every point. Instead, I’m going to give you the niblet version: my tweets while I read the book. So just in case you missed all of them, you can now read the entirety of Sugarcunt’s #50ShadesOfBullshit tweets from start to finish. For the sake of brevity, I’ll remove my hash tag from these quotations.

Mouthiness

Blog 4 Responses »

Sep 262011

I’m definitely a self-proclaimed brat. If I’ve got a smart-assed remark, I just have to get it out there, because I’m hilarious and the entire world must know it… even if I’m supposed to be an obedient little girl. (I’m only a “girl” when I’m a little – never a boy – but my gender associations when I play certain roles are a can of worms for another post entirely.)

Because of my own mouthiness, I certainly don’t take (much) lip from the slutling… but I let him get away with it sometimes. I have to let there be allowances somewhere, right?

Wrong.

After I shaved down the slutling’s pubes last night (part one of ongoing project: sissification), I was pretty eager to rub my tongue all over his newly-smooth pubic region. The plan for today was that he was going to have to earn the right to cum. I rubbed my face all over his groin, sucked him until he almost couldn’t stand it anymore, and then made him get dressed so we could go about our daily business.

Later, as he sat in his room, I instructed him to act on his desire to watch porn. As it is every time we play the orgasm denial game, he was told to watch something he really liked, masturbate, take photos for me, and was not allowed to cum under any circumstance.

He did me one better and sent me a video.

That warranted a reward, right?

I mean, that was truly going above and beyond the call of duty.

I plugged him up, pulled out a pretty pair of panties for him to wear, and was going to bestow a treasure trove of delights upon him… but then he fucked it up.

As I was lightly slapping his ass, he said, “Master, are you going to keep patting me, or are you actually going to spank me?”

Oh hell to the no, slutling. Master don’t play that.

I wailed on him. I spanked his right ass cheek so extensively that I couldn’t feel my hand. I threw in a couple blows on the left for good measure. When I finally got tired of exerting myself by punishing a mouthy little slut, I opted to take the easy way out and introduce the slutling to a slightly more severe brand of impact play, by bringing in the Rippler.

Except I wasn’t going to fuck him with it. That would be too kind, since he was begging me to peg his ass. The point of this wasn’t to gratify him. I was just going to give him what he’d asked for – a real spanking.

Is the slutling going to mouth off to Master again?

I didn’t think so.

In Which Slutling is the Master

Blog 3 Responses »

Sep 232011

When he peered over the curtain rod, I decided to give him a show. Fingers snapped across nipples. Hands kneaded breasts. At one point, I even remember biting my lip and gazing up at him coyly, dropping my head to the side and dragging my fingers down the side of my bared neck as the water moistened my freckles and flushed my chest.

It didn’t last long. He had to get into the shower – I instructed him to for the good of the order, citing (unnecessary) community service. That was where my control ended.

I leaned up against the wall of the stall, pushing my ass against him and allowing him to massage my shoulders and drag his hands down my back. I rose on my toes to rub my ass against his cock, hard from the moment he crossed the curtain. The only thing the height difference didn’t prevent was nestling his shaft between the cheeks of my ass, and I milked that for all it was worth. One of his hands closed around my neck, and I tugged the other between my legs, where he eagerly strummed my clit. Applying pressure to my throat, he pulled me upright until my back was pressed against him. His teeth nibbled my earlobe as I struggled to breathe despite the hand on my airway and water cascading into my mouth. We writhed together, and every time I closed my eyes, I was imagining how we must look to an outsider.

He bit into the side of my neck several times, leaving pink indentations and mottled purple and grey bruises that I admire periodically as I type this. As I pressed my forehead against the wall of the shower, his hand came down on my ass… once… twice… three times.

“Do you like it when I spank you, slut?”

“God, yes! I love it when you spank me, Master. Please give me more!”

Shoving my ass against him once more, I ground into his hardness while teeth tore at my neck, one of his hands working his cock furiously.

“Please, Master… I want you to cum on me.”

“What would you do for it?”

“Anything!”

“Be more SPECIFIC, slut!”

“I’d suck all the cocks you wanted. I’d fuck all the women you asked!”

“Would you suck Mr. O’s cock?”

“I would suck Mr. O’s cock. I’d suck it dry. I’d fuck him to please you, Master.”

“And would you swallow his cum, slut?”

“Every drop, sir… and I want your cum. Please give me your cum. I want it all over my ass! Please give it to me!”

And so he did.

A/N: Mr. and Ms. O occupy a very special place in my internet life, as well as a less substantial place in the slutling’s, so it was only natural that they start showing up in our mutual fantasies eventually, I suppose… although the addition of Mr. O was a very unexpected surprise!

Switch-y Sugarcunt & Her Slutling (30DoK)

30 Days of Kink 1 Response »

Jul 242011

So the 30 Days of Kink is one of those 30 day prompts that has been making its rounds, theoretically originating on the Queerkink Tumblr, but being heftily linked to a post about it on Insatiable Desire. There’s a huge list of other bloggers who are participating on the Insatiable Desire page about it, and I’m one of those bandwagon-jumping “nonconformists,” so you know I have to do it. After all, don’t I need something to fill the void in my blog while I’m formulating reviews about how I’m filling the void in my pants?

I’ll stick them all behind read more tags so long, drawn-out posts that come from prompts don’t clutter up my blog’s front page, but this is basically going to be a regular thing for me.

Day 1: Dom, sub, switch? What parts of BDSM interest you? Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self for us.