sex education Archives - Sugarcunt Writes

Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Advanced Anal Sex

Sep 212012

If you ever wanted a porno to sell you on anal, then Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Advanced Anal Sex is the porn video for you.

For starters, it’s educational as hell… and one of the best things about the educational bits (other than the wealth of legitimate and helpful information) is that the educational portions are taught by Tristan, who is a piece of eye candy no matter how much or how little she wears.

Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Advanced Anal Sex begins with anal endorsements and clips from the stars, and Tristan offers a lesson on anatomy and hygiene, which are valuable lessons for anal sex. I love the hygiene lesson, because Tristan actually discusses enemas, and how to use a disposable enema safely (pour out the prepacked contents!), which is colossally important. Tristan wins more points in my book by warning against numbing lubes in anal sex, praising warm-up anal activity before pulling out the big guns, and telling us about how to train your ass, and offering advice for first-time anal practitioners. She gives suggestions on how to deal with pain during anal (back off!), good positions for anal sex, and toy play.

The stars. Nina Hartley! Kylie Ireland! Adrianna Nicole! Bobbi Starr! Danny Wylde! James Deen! Mr. Marcus! Christian, God of Giant Cocks! It’s a great cast.

Kylie Ireland and James Deen start the show, prepping her anally with fingers, then taking the ENTIRETY of a Tantus A-Bomb like a champ… and begging for more. She and James fuck doggie-style with the A-Bomb in her ass, then he slips it out and takes her ass from the side while she uses a hitachi. I loved the use of gloves, because I’m anal (no pun intended) about protection, and it puts my nosy mind at ease when performers use some kind. The entire performance is rife with dirty talk and a faint squeaking from the bed, which is only a tiny bit distracting if you really focus on it. James and Kylie do a good job of providing the kind of dirty talk that I absolutely love, and it’s really genuine, convincing, in-the-moment talk, with growls and groans and a lot of muttering… which is only slightly annoying if you have to adjust your volume a lot to hear it.

When I finally sat down to finish this review, I watched it on the large television in the living room. Noise level was not a concern.

But really, other than Kylie Ireland’s ass of holding, the verbal responses are some of the best things about this scene. The dirty talk is guttural and intense, and you can tell Kylie is losing her shit. That turns me on SO much, because those growls are really authentic, and they remind me of my own intense sexual experiences.

Danny and Adriana are next, and they’re… a lot quieter. I’m not going to lie, that disappoints me, but I do love is the bondage tape harness that Danny makes to secure the plug that Adriana wears while she blows him. The sex largely consists of a variety of positions for anal intercourse, and is absent of both the squeaky bed AND much other than the growl of a Hitachi and some quiet moaning. I guess another good thing is that I love their headboard… and sometimes they make good eye contact. But that’s all I’ve got to say about this. It wasn’t my speed. Honestly, I started fastforwarding through it after the halfway mark just to get to the end of the scene, in which Danny cums on Adriana’s ass and I look forward to getting on with the DVD.

The scene with Mr. Marcus and Bobbi Starr actually starts out with Bobbi in what appears to be a harness with a small Tantus Ace beneath it. She quickly upgrades to the larger Ace…

It’s worth applauding Bobbi for her expert cock-handling. And for being a lot louder than Adriana, which is a blessing. Mr. Marcus is at least slightly more verbal than Danny was, which I’m into. They also have sex in a room with a couple mirrors, so the camera angle that captures the action through a mirror is nice. I love when Bobbi is sitting on him Reverse-Cowgirl style and rubbing herself as she rides him. In fact, I really just love her anyway, because she is such a gorgeous woman. One of her orgasms is amazing. Then later she and Mr. Marcus try to break a chair! (Try. I say try because it squeaks incessantly.)

Mr. Marcus also does this clapping thing when he gets really into it that I just find hilarious. I’m totally cool with applauding her performance – I would! But something about the act itself in the moment just entertains me endlessly. Sometimes he does it and I expect Bobbi to just stop moving and fall lifelessly to the floor. CLAP OFF!

Last, but not least, Christian and Nina.

Watching Nina Hartley make this face (while imitating an opera singer hitting a high C) is worth the price of admission alone. (That’s the combined anal and clitoral stimulation face.)

Nina is just the best. There is nothing about this woman that I do not adore, in this porn or anywhere else. She doesn’t hesitate to tell Christian when he hits the right spot. She asks for exactly what she wants – “right there! I’d love it if you put a thumb in my ass.” And she loves people who aren’t afraid to let their “freak flag” fly. She’s incredibly verbal, incredibly fun, and she can practically EAT the nJoy Eleven with her ass. (That’s admiration that you’re reading, by the way. And eeeenvy.)

Nina’s awesomeness doesn’t just carry the scene… Christian’s willingness to put stuff in his ass is the best. There is no other way to say that. Any man who lets someone put a Pure Plug and an nJoy Pure Wand in his ass (before getting pegged later) on camera is automatically up there in my top 10 favorite male pornstars.

Nina compliments him on looking good as the recipient of some strap-on lovin’, and I agree with her 100%. He looks damn good on his knees.

It’s just a hot scene. They communicate and do all kinds of shit – there’s nothing “one note” about any of it. While it isn’t necessarily the SUPER-INTENSE GROWLING UTTERLY-CHEMISTRY-DRIVEN dirty talk that I love, it’s something else I can enjoy and respect just as much: enthusiastic, fun, enjoyment-driven dirty talk! Christian cums all over his stomach while Nina pegs him, and she tells him how much fun he is. Everyone should have an orgasm like that at least once.

If the porn and basic education weren’t good enough, this DVD also comes with educational special features about:

Safer sex and choking safety
Strap-on Tips
Anal hygiene, and
Solo prostate stimulation

The toys in TristanTaormino’s Expert Guide to Advanced Anal Sex are totally great. There’s a LOT of Tantus and nJoy toys, and in the shot that shows a bunch of anal toys during the educational segment, there are even some NobEssence (luuuuuuust) toys… such as the Romp. The educational content is superb, and the sex is great. While I very obviously have my two favorite scenes, I wouldn’t describe the other two as mediocre… they’re just not my speed. I think the sheer amount and value of the content is worth the money, don’t you?

Seriously. If you don’t care about anal, Tristan has videos of similar quality about squirting, blowjobs, rough sex, and more, so there’s something to tickle everyone’s fancy. Check out Tristan’s site at http://puckerup.com!

To Tristan Taormino and all of her assistants: My vagina and I both thank you all for sending this video to me for a review!

International Fisting Day!

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Oct 212011

I straight-up love fisting, you guys.

If you just winced, give yourself a slap on the wrist. Two, maybe. And don’t you dare enjoy it. This isn’t sexytime-slapping. This is shame-on-you. No, this shame isn’t sexy either.

I know that there’s a pretty big stigma against fisting because people are sexually uninformed. (Do you like how I took the gentle route there and didn’t call them idiots? I’m trying not to alienate potential members of my audience by slinging around the I-word.) They’re convinced that a whole hand would never fit up there, and that they’d have to be super-loose to take it, and it would never fit because they prefer two fingers, and “couldn’t possibly” take more. Here’s a non-hostile article about why talking about being “loose” because of the frequency and size of an insertion is stupid. (Seriously. The vagina is a muscle. Try kegels if you think you’re lacking.)

People also seem to imagine that fisting is forced, violent, and is meant to be painful. It’s kind of like applying the original connotation of “fuck” to fisting. I’m not sure where it got this reputation, since it’s hardly mentioned in popular culture, but it’s a completely unwarranted reputation.

Fisting isn’t necessarily cramming your entire hand into someone’s cunt. Technically, it’s just four fingers and a thumb inside. The slutling’s entire hand doesn’t fit inside me in the duck bill position; I’m not even sure he can get past his knuckles.

I suppose I should make myself look human for a moment by admitting that when I was in high school, I too winced at the idea of being fisted. In fact, I didn’t think my ex would ever be able to put more than two fingers in me. His fingers were enormous, I never got very aroused, and I was never very well-lubricated with him. I couldn’t even fathom the idea. Even after we broke up, I didn’t say, “Let’s see if I can find someone to wear me like Lambchop!”

In fact, I was fisted for the first time on a whim. The slutling was fingering me (wearing gloves, of course), and it felt fantastic, so I asked him to insert another finger… and then I asked him to make the “duck bill” shape (shown here at the right, from Beyond Xs and Ys) and use his thumb. Oh my god. It all happened very naturally, and I was absolutely shocked that there was no pain. There was some gentle movement, but none of that hardcore thrusting that people assume fisting involves. (Hint: it often doesn’t.)

Fisting is now a semi-regular part of my sex life. The only time I enjoy having my cervix touched is when I’m being fisted, and I absolutely love the sensation of fullness that fisting provides. Being my boyfriend’s hand puppet is an incredibly unique experience for me, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Basic fisting guidelines:

Make sure your nails are trimmed!
Use gloves! (This will prevent concern about your nails – gloves are great for hot, safe hand sex.)
Use lubricant! There’s no such thing as too much lube, but there is such a thing as too little.
Communication is absolutely necessary. Go slowly and listen to your partner.
Be ready to have your mind blown.

In this interview (which features one of best fisting pictures in the world), Courtney Trouble describes fisting thusly:

Fisting is simply four fingers and a thumb sliding into a vagina (or ass, for those inclined and well-lubed). The hand then slips delicately inside the hole, past the knuckles and anywhere along the palm of the hand, even up to the wrist. It’s basically allowing the vaginal muscles to decide how little, or how much, the body wants to take in. The fistee is left feeling full, and often times the fister can feel the beating of the heart, muscle swelling, and the walls of the vagina moving up and down the hand. There’s a misconception that’s it’s forced in, when most fisting is initiated entirely by the person getting fisted. In fact, it’s usually the vagina itself that will decide to just swallow a hand entirely.

Once the hand is fully inside, it generally stays still, allowing both parties to experience that connection. Some movement is natural, and after a while, light thrusting may or may not happen. Every once in a while it might be faster or harder, but in general, fisting is all about a hand and a hole listening to each other very closely. It’s one of the most beautiful, intimate sex acts I’ve ever experienced. It’s sex positive and builds a deeper connection between sex partners. It’s encourages deeper communication. And most people who have been fisted will probably tell you, it’s one of the best ways to orgasm in the whole wide world.

Word, Courtney. Word.

Educate Yourself

Fisting Day Tumblr

Babeland’s Fisting Instructions

(The instructions are sound, despite the fact that the post is a bit rooted in gender binary.)

xMech’s Fisting How To

Fisting Basics by Scarlett Chaos at the Crash Pad Series blog.

In Defense of the Virgin Lover

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Jul 222011

The initial courtship is slow. We flirt so often that I find myself unsure as to whether my intentions are coming across or not. We hold hands as though we’re pre-adolescents, and when my actions finally reveal that my intentions are considerably less-than-pure, I begin by kissing his fingertip. His brows quirk when I slide my lips down his skin, taking the finger into my mouth up to the first joint and dragging the tip of my tongue lightly along the inside of the digit.

I have been warned, time and time again by assorted parties, that I shouldn’t have sex with virgins. One of my oldest and dearest friends warned me against it several months ago. Another friend, when I mentioned that I was pursuing a virgin, said, “Having sex with virgins sucks. You’ll have more fun with someone else.”

He doesn’t bother feigning confidence, initially. He shudders with a mix of anticipation and nervousness, and it feels a bit like I’m clutching a doe. I’m almost unsure about whether he loves or hates the thing that I’m doing to him. He tenses up as the gentle strokes on his back turn to scratches and I sink my teeth into the sweet flesh of his shoulder.

Thousands of arguments have been made on behalf of the confident playmate. We talk up the self-assured lover with oodles of experience. I have seen considerably less arguments made on behalf of the shy, self-doubting virgin. During a conversation with Omnihim (one half of my favorite deviant couple in the world of sex bloggers), he pointed out that, in having sex with someone virginal, I was giving him a much-coveted initiation into the world of sex. I was a little baffled by this idea initially – I only know one person who had all of their first time experiences with another virgin, and the individual in question still sees that partner with rose-tinted glasses that are so thick that I’m led to believe the girl really might have a gold-plated cunt and diamond nipples. Then I started thinking on a more grand scale. While virgins outside the gender binary don’t exist in the public eye, and virgin women are praised for their purported “tightness” and the “innocence” that begs to be despoiled, virgin men are stigmatized. As a person with a vagina, I can attest that we hear warnings of unwavering devotion (which can be a negative if undesired), clumsy fumbling, and general cluelessness.

He embraces me in the dark as I lay on my back. His fingers are as slender as his arms, and despite being inexperienced, are moving effectively across my groin, working the wetness up toward my clit before swiftly delving back inside me – one finger, then two. He complies when I tell him that I need him to curve his fingers up. His teeth tug at my earlobe insistently, and his breath is hot and heavy in my ear, “Oh god, I want you…”

Many fine examples of how gender roles have shaped our society can be found in the virginity stigma. Women that lose their virginity, enjoy sex, and are confident in their sexuality are “sluts.” Men are “meant to be dominant and experienced,” so woe betide the virgin male.

No one talks about the benefits of having sex with someone less experienced than you. Apparently, we’re all supposed to spring forth from the womb like Athena from Zeus’s skull, popping out as sexual mavericks with a full repertoire of mind-blowing techniques. Where are the people singing praises about the fact that I can ask him to finger me just so without affronting his pride? What about the fact that he acknowledges that I’m hard to get off and that he’s still exploring his technique, so he doesn’t take it personally if I don’t come? There are so many things that I enjoy more because he’s seeing them as he causes them – the look of ecstasy I make when someone pulls my head back with a fistful of hair, the way that I shiver when lips hit that spot on my neck right below my ear. The look on his face after he brought me to a squirting orgasm was worth all the money in my bank account.

We’re writhing against one another, covered in sweat, my hands twisting as I draw them off the head of his cock. Between kisses, he asks me to touch his ass, and I grab it ferociously, squeezing the soft flesh and causing his back to go rigid.

In my experience, the two “virgins” (near-virgins, at the very least) that I’ve been with have been attentive, inventive, and most importantly, eager. They have anticipated and adapted to my needs well ahead of many of their more experienced predecessors, and responded well to my requests to do something differently. One might say, “That has to do with the person, not the person’s sexual experience.” Yes, perhaps, but both of the virgins that I’ve been with have been people embodying those qualities. And to be quite frank, neither of them were as fumbling and clumsy as you might think. In fact, my now-deflowered playmate surprised me with his well-aimed bites and his dexterous hands.

I’m not saying that you need to go out and yoink someone’s “v-card.” Regardless of how attached someone may (or may not) be to their virginity, that’s a good way to step on toes and hurt feelings. I’m simply trying to help clear up some of the anti-virgin-male sentiment that is floating around my culture for no good reason. If you’re interested in a person who happens to be sexually inexperienced, bear with them and give them a chance. I write this post as an ode to the virgin men of the world. While they may not be as widely-appreciated as they deserve, they do have a place in my heart.
(And my vag.)

Texture Fiend

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Jun 252011

Let me tell you a story about one of the worst things that has ever happened to my vagina.

I can promise you that it does not involve childbirth, but if you’re at all squeamish about or triggered by vaginal injury/tearing of any kind, then you probably do not want to read this story.

Young, dumb, and full of cum, Ex and I were working up to a marathon sex session after we’d been apart for our standard three months. Three of the five years of our relationship were long-distance, and for some reason, phone sex just didn’t cut it. *Cue knowing canned laughter from the audience members that have ever maintained a long-distance relationship.* They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, but they made a gross oversight in forgetting to mention the effect that it has on the genitals.

I’ve mentioned previously that I’m hard to get off, and producing an orgasm for me is a huge ordeal for the fingers, tongue, and any other appendages with nerve endings that may be put to the task. After 20 minutes of working me over to no avail, my ex decided he was going to improvise and insert something to help him get the job done, lest his fingers organize an extended strike because of inhumane work conditions. The tricky part of this was that there was nary a dildo to be found, because my sex toy obsession was restricted to online window shopping at the time. So let’s think of some basic household objects to slot into the equation of x + condom = insertion, shall we?

For the sake of this article, I really did try to think of some things. Here are some of the first suggestions that the internet offered up when I googled this question:

Produce
Hairbrush handles
Paper towel holders
Flashlight handles
Candles

Ex also knew someone who masturbated using a handful of markers, but we weren’t even going there. Crayola products are just about the only childhood relics that are too sacred to go in my vagina. (Although they do have a somewhat large, crayon-shaped crayon sharpener that I just had a mental image of fucking myself with.)

There I was, staring at my ceiling, soaking wet between the thighs, while my boyfriend trashed my room, searching desperately for something that he could put in my vagina with the minimal amount of effort. Guess which of the objects from the list above he found?

None of them!

He found a wooden foot roller.

If you’re blanking when you try to conjure a mental picture of it, let me help you out.

[Image description: A ribbed cylinder of light-colored wood on a white background. The cylinder is wide at both ends, and tapers to a slightly thinner point in the middle. The wood appears glossy and smooth to the touch, and the ends of the cylinder appear to be flat.]

Okay. Maybe those of you with more experience and wisdom (and who had received a comprehensive sex education that covered safe insertion) can look at that picture and go, “Maybe that isn’t the best idea.” But for those of us who didn’t have the benefit of that, or at least some common sense, this looked like a totally viable dildo. “Hell, honey, it’s ribbed for your pleasure! “ (Not a direct quote, but I know we were both thinking it.) My foot roller wasn’t tapered as significantly as the one pictured above, but beyond that, it looked pretty much exactly like it. He found it on my windowsill. He asked me what it was. I didn’t know. What I did know was that I had received it as part of a massage/pedicure set. I knew that it had a somewhat phallic shape. I knew that it was made of smooth, seamless wood. I also knew that I hadn’t seen my ex in almost four months and was ready to devour him, and because of that, everything else that I knew took a backseat to the fact that I knew that thing was going in my vagina.

And it did.

Oh my god. It was good. It was so good. Intercourse had never felt that good. I am not exaggerating. I was in ecstasy, with that foot roller thrusting in and out of me and a devoted tongue on my clit. It wasn’t very long. It didn’t need to be. It was amazing. I genuinely have no real way to describe how it felt, because I have no basis for comparison in memory. I couldn’t get enough of the thing, and I was so wet,

so close

my cunt was on fire my back was arched my toes were curling my right leg was twitching and that telltale cramp was forming in my thigh and oh my god, yes, yes, YES, I… flopped my spine back against the mattress, uncurled my toes, stilled my leg, and I was PISSED.

“WHY DID YOU STOP?”

“Honey, you’re… bleeding.” He sounded a little concerned.

Fire spurted from my nostrils as I sat up and grabbed his hair in a death grip, growing to twenty-times my size and towering over him.

“I DON’T GIVE A SHIT.”
“No, really, you’re bleeding…”

The pleasure HAD NOT RESUMED. His words were drowned out as Latin choirs sang in the distance. My bed became a slab of ice and the temperature was sub-zero. My room was now Cocytus, and I was buried in the middle of it, gnashing the teeth of my three mouths.

“KEEP GOING, DAMN YOU.”

Our sexual encounter quickly devolved into a non-kinky shouting match. Finally, tossing aside his fear of spooking me, he showed me his hands. It looked like he’d fingered Carrie after the prom. “LOOK. Are you okay?”

It was right about then that I got a little nervous. I was accustomed to a tiny bit of bleeding every now and then, but outside of menstruation, this was more blood than I’d ever seen come out of my vag. But it didn’t hurt… in fact, I was feeling no pain at all, which is why I hadn’t realized how serious the situation was. I rushed to the bathroom and held some toilet paper to my cunt until the blood flow was minimal, and as I was pressing it there, the pain set in.

Oh my god.

Let me tell you about the pain.

My cunt was on fire again, but it wasn’t the good burn from earlier – it stung. It’s been a few years, but I vividly remember sitting on my toilet, trying not to cry because of a mixture of fear and pain, wondering if someone had turned a hive of pissed-off, razor-wielding hornets on my poor pussy. It was scary. I had no idea how bad the damage actually was, I just had some blood and pain as indicators of what I had done. I felt confused, frail, vulnerable, damaged, and above all, stupid, because I thought it would be okay to put that thing in my vag. Ex was pounding on the door, asking if I was okay, and all I could do was sit there and sniffle. It didn’t take too long for the bleeding to slow down, and while I spotted for several days afterward, the damage wasn’t severe enough to warrant a doctor’s visit – at least, that was my opinion at the time. In retrospect, I wish I had gone to the gynecologist just for peace of mind, if nothing else. I still have questions about it. Exactly what kind of damage did the edge of that thing cause: scratches, tears, scrapes? Could it have changed the internal topography of my vagina? Once I had healed up, I was convinced that my innards felt a little bit frillier than they used to, but that was an entirely subjective judgment from someone who didn’t often penetrate herself with her fingers. Could I have gotten an infection if I hadn’t taken better care of it?

Now, do you want to know the scary part of this story? I was the most sexually-educated person among my friends for years, and I thought that this roller would be okay to use in my vagina.

I was the one who told my friends that yes, they still needed to use condoms if they had anal. I was the one that my friends asked about STDs, pornography, blowjobs, sexuality, and last but not least, masturbation. I was the resident “sex genius,” and I thought it would be okay to stick this thing in my pussy even though it didn’t have rounded edges. It wasn’t the ridges that hurt me… not initially, at least. It was the top of the cylindrical shape that had hard edges instead of rounded ones. I’m not going to deny that the ridges probably didn’t help, but once I started doing some reading on the subject, I realized that something with hard, pointy edges really shouldn’t have gone in my vagina.

THIS IS WHY WE NEED REALISTIC, COMPREHENSIVE SEX EDUCATION THAT DOESN’T DEMONIZE PLEASURE AND ACKNOWLEDGES THAT ALL KINDS OF SEX OTHER THAN PENIS-TO-VAGINA INTERCOURSE HAPPENS.

When we’re showing them how to put condoms on bananas, if we’re even showing them that, then we also need to be teaching young adults what sort of things should not be put into their orifices and why, because they’re going to experiment with that whether you address it or not. Instead of telling them not to have sex, tell them how to have sex safely and responsibly. Instead of telling them not to masturbate, tell them how to do it safely and responsibly. Even the teenagers who know more about sex than their peers (like I did) can learn how to do things more carefully. If someone had told me that I shouldn’t put anything into my vagina until I made sure it had a smooth, rounded edge, I would have told my boyfriend to go fuck himself with a chainsaw before I let him put that thing inside me.

You can find all kinds of threads on the internet asking questions such as, “What can I find laying around the house to masturbate with?” If it had been a masturbatory experience, would I have gone to Yahoo! Answers and asked if it was a bad idea to put that roller in my cunt? Probably not. It never really occurred to me. It was just phallic enough that I didn’t think about the danger of the edges.

Do you know something important that I learned from Girl Scouts?

It was to be prepared.

Do you know what I learned from this experience?

Have a dildo for every occasion.