The Leaf Life

Hello!  It’s been a while, hasn’t it?  I’ve been very busy and I’m also knee deep in sex toys, so I’m playing catch-up.  This is good news for you, my readers, because it means CONTENT!

First up: the Leaf Life.  The Life is a product that I’ve lusted after since I first heard about it.  It comes in a nice eco-friendly-looking box with a charging cord and a bag to hold it.  It’s attractive, ergonomic, and a beautiful shade of green.  It is made out of medical-grade silicone.  It has a single button that is located under the skin, so the entire toy has a largely seamless appearance.  It’s rechargeable AND waterproof.  The Life goes from 0 to 60 at the push of a button – you just hold it down to increase the speed, and the maximum speed is pretty great.  By all accounts, this toy is uber impressive, and it should be an orgasm machine.

But it doesn’t get me off.

Well, that’s not wholly true.  It got me off a few times, but each of those times took FOREVER.  Which is, for me, the equivalent of not getting off now.  I mean, sometimes it’s fun to take an hour to reach orgasm, but it gets dull when you aren’t getting the gratification you want.  As a side note, I look back at some of my first blog posts and find that it’s hilarious that I have gone from, “Yay, a toy made me orgasm!” to, “Boo, why is it taking 20 minutes for me to come?”

When you’ve become accustomed to having speedy orgasms, sometimes you find yourself sitting there, not orgasming, with genitals stuffed to the brim with sex paraphernalia, and you’re like, “Maybe I should go make a sandwich or something.”  One time I actually fell asleep for a few minutes while it was on and between my legs.  And this just in: apparently yelling “WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?” at the top of your lungs in the general direction of your genitals doesn’t make you reach orgasm more quickly.  Who knew?

The bottom line is that if I’m hoping to get off in ten to twenty minutes or less, I have learned that I just can’t reach for this toy.  And that’s hard for me, from a reviewer’s standpoint.  I can’t say that this is a bad toy, because it’s actually a very good sex toy from a technical standpoint – it is attractive, it boasts a fair amount of power, and I think it’s pretty well-designed. Much like the classic butterfly vibrator or rabbit vibe, I like it in concept, and I desperately want to have orgasms with it, but it just isn’t very effective for me specifically. It doesn’t fit my body’s needs.

What this toy did do for me was help me gain some perspective on what I need in a vibrator.  At the same time that I was reviewing this toy I also received the Tenga Iroha line to review.  While the Life was faster than the Iroha vibrators, the Iroha toys got me off in ways that the Life just couldn’t.  The key difference, I think, is that the Iroha vibrators cover a broader surface area, whereas the Life has a really small tip.  The Life is clearly meant to offer pinpoint stimulation, and I think that’s what just doesn’t do it for me.  In retrospect, Epiphora noted the nature of the pinpoint stimulation in her review… but when I asked to review the Life I had no idea what kind of stimulation I liked.  So while I’m sad that I’m not a pinpoint-stimulation kind of person who can fully enjoy this beautiful sex toy, I am happy that I’ve learned a bit more about my body.

I don’t recommend buying it if you know you prefer broad stimulation.  If you aren’t sure if you like pinpoint stimulation, I would look for a cheaper alternative to try first before I dropped $99 on the Life.  While it’s an attractive toy to have in your toybox, you probably want to get some orgasms out of it, too.

If you’re disappointed that I haven’t trashed the toy in this review, I suppose I can touch on couple things… there’s a barely-perceptible seam along the bottom of the toy, but it doesn’t bother me during use or cleaning.  The only (minor) flaw I’ve found is that the Life is a little bit vroom-y in terms of sound.  It isn’t the loudest toy I’ve ever heard, but it’s not the quietest, either.  It’s just kind of buzzy.  I think the sound that it puts out is fair for the power you get from it.  I wouldn’t use it when I’m masturbating in bed at night beside my sleeping partner, though.

If you like pinpoint stimulation, sleek ergonomic design, feeling good about buying eco-friendly, and that sexy, sexy shade of green, you can get the Leaf Life at Shevibe.  Go forth, my minions, and shop!

The Leaf Life was graciously provided to me for free by Shevibe in exchange for an honest review.